Inner Dilemma

This space has been silent for quite some time, but what could I do - I was not able to pen down anything. It was not like that there was dearth of thoughts. It was more subtle, there was something inside me that was pulling me back again and again. The internal fight that you could say was tearing me apart. Something was building inside me but it was not coming out or I was not letting it go. Today I finally decided that its time that at least I try out to let the feeling go. What are those feeling I don't know, but I submit myself to the inner instincts and let the hands play on the keypad. The result may be or may not be good, but at least I think it would lighten my burden. After a long time I am still in a dilemma, do I yearn for good work or do I yearn for recognition or is it something else. Even when you have all the things why is it so that something keeps on nagging you. Why can't one have satisfaction? This is the real question in life. Why is self satisfaction so hard to achieve.
I am still in dilemma but a little better than before.
Thanks

Manish