Its been a long long time since I have in realty connected with myself. Still remember the day when I started blogging. Been more than 10 years. Then the speed slowed down and almost came to halt. This was a place where I can be myself, I can laugh, I can cry without the burden of anyone judging me.
Most would ask why today? Why are you telling all this today?
Its because as I had said, I had lost all connection with myself. I am trying to reconnect. Because unless and until I connect with myself, how will I be able to connect with other.
During my engineering days, life was good, though there were hiccups but that time seems great now. Then came when I started my earning career, the means were limited but I was happy. I had lost contact with few but gained new, all in all life was still good. Now came the time for post grad, my life was smooth but won't say it was happening. People around me were doing things, they were busy, it was as if I was losing out. Was I being held back, I don't know. Post PG, I came back to my hometown to assist my family business it was not a big one just a small one, but I intended to make it big. Things then started to change - more than things I started to change. My life partner was now with me here, in the event to give everyone space, I lost all my own space. The overall atmosphere started to change, and in any event usually I was the centerpiece. With all those things happening I started out losing on myself, doing things that I liked to do or wanted to do, it was always trying to make situation bearable. With the passing of time, I even started forgetting what did I like and what I didn't. What I had thought would become a support had become a liability.
Over the years it went from bad to worse and then, suddenly I stopped feeling anything. I had become immune to anything or anyone. I never wanted to be like this but it had happened. So, today when I was working and contemplating on my life it suddenly dawned on me that I had no freedom in my life. I was just a puppet. I wanted to live again. I wanted to reclaim my life back. That's the reason I am here.
Hoping that this place again brings the same me back.
Thanks
See you soon again...
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