Its been again a long break for me from this place, but though I missed it, I did not come here. But now again the time has taught me a lesson, true friends are true, and for me my writing and books are the ones. Life has been lived and lost but what pinches you is when you have no one to speak to. You have people around you but they are too busy in their own lives to care about you and your life and your problems. They would be there but emotionally you are alone, when you stand your heart is empty it just has pain.
Life was beautiful, I had friends and people with whom I could share a thought or so, but now that's my past and present is here, where I speak to void but within tears. I wait for a response but none comes my say, I wait for a "Hello or Hi" none comes here even passing by. Losing grip of life and also my mind. So much welled within me waiting to burst out. So, again I take to this place, where I lighten my heart and normalize its pace.
Sometimes I think that everyone have their own set of problems but the biggest is when you can't share your heart-load with anyone. You life and death would count to a few but your present existence is cold stew. I am blabbering my heart out, please do bear with me, I want to yell - I want to shout. I want the pain to ease, I want everything within me to release. Such is the matter that I am now unable to bear, sometimes black thoughts do cross my mind. Which I can't list out but are true and look good at times. But I know I am not such a coward, so I don't think of taking that path.
All I want is someone to speak to, someone to listen to my heart. I want to smile, smile with all my problems intact, but I am alone that's the fact. Wish people around me would take me as a person with feelings not a piece of luggage that is cleaned and used whenever wanted. The pain of silence is overwhelming that is making me lose my bearing. For now, I think, I have poured out a little but I will sincerely try to make my bond again with you very strong. Atleast you will listen to me and understand me, I can proudly say to myself I have you, I have someone who is truly mine - my thoughts, my pen and my blog line...
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