Confused and conflicting life...

Life has moved a lot since the last time I had jotted down something here... Had been a bumpy ride during the period. Few nice things, few ugly things.... kuch bhi samajh nahi aa raha tha ki lif emein chal kya raha hai.... shayad the fight was within me and I dont think it still has yet subsided... but haan ab phir bhi kaafi thek hai.. atleast am at more peace compared to last time..
abhi shayad apne aap ko poora express nahi kar paun.. but yup will do tht later on.. bbye tc..

Is it too slow or is it too fast...

For quite a few days I was in the dilemma for last few weeks, so as to where my life was leading me... there was no clarity to be seen any where. I was completely lost... but now the haze looks like moving over and a picture emerging from it... though i may not be as bright as ppl say but yup.. somethings are here to stay.. I knw now what I have to do... few things can make you or break you.. .there were things that broke me.. now its the time for the making to b done....
so ppl watcha here come a new dawn.. a new day... that will mark the beginning of a new career for me... may god bless me in my endeavour....
take care ppl
bbye
urs
Manish

January gone...

Life is going on slow pace. January has gone and still no clue to what is goin on. I have left mannier things behind but still clinging to them. Lifes tryin to take a full circle but its not able to do..
What is goin around not able to make a head or tail of it. But its happening to make it happen. Trying to clear a lot of cowebs but still lot to do....
lets see where it takes me and what will I do....

Happy New Year 2008...

WELCOME 2008...

A year thats gone by, leaving memories here abound. Many a things had happened over time, now the times past nine. With so much to say and so little a space. All that remains are the feelings true and false. We all will welcome the new year with a new passionate and refreshed mind. Lets make a true effort to make this world a better place to live in... :)

Manish

Over with everything...

Life's not as easy as it seems to be. From the onset of it, there are various problems facing life. Whatever you tend to think and do, it never happens in the way you want it to be... same's the case with my life...
Again today have failed miserably. Am i so incompetent that I cant do anything in life thats worthwhile... Because I dont believe in stars... are just the mark of fate... and fate is that what you have created yourself. So, in the end its you are to blamed and no one else. You only share the responsibility for getting the things wrong and failing in life. You are the one responsible in life for all the faith lost by people who trusted you in the first place. You are the crime and the culprit.
People say that its not your mistake but I know its all my mistake... either I did not put in my full efforts or was it my low determination that made me reach the nadir of failure. I am not a good person either, because the one who breaks the faith people have in him is not a good person. I broke everyone's faith by fairing badly in the exam. Now I realise why I have been a highly inconspicous person because I am a big failure. I cant do anything in life thats sure...
People say that sometimes things would lead you into depression but I say seeing me depression would be depressed.... hahahaha....
well have written a lot of crap..
bbye
tc

Time and life...

Time just flies as they say. By the time we are able to understand our current surroundings, we are already through that part and again we find ourselves into new environment. Time keeps on changing at such a fast pace that our current pace is thus a snail in comparison to the time's pace. Just like - we experience, I experience - that, it always looks like: our good times are short as compared to our hard time. But do we ever think what makes us feels so, well never have we thought the reason for this feeling.

When we are happy and in a jolly mood, we usually fail to see how fast the time is passing by, we are in such a state that it looks like that time has stood still. How many time do we ever look at the watch and say, "Oh! Its already 2 days, whereas it looks like just two hours". Its a human phenomenon that, we take in wht we like while we leave the rest. So, when we are having a gala time we don't notice the duration, we just want to enjoy that part of our life, irrespective of the duration, because though the duration maybe days, weeks, years or seconds; they always look like a moment that was too short.

When we are facing hard times, we always look back and say "Oh my! When is my time gonna change....". In this context though we are facing hardship for a smaller period, but our restlessness makes even that duration too long. And during that phase our cribbling and groaning makes the things worse. Everything in this world has got two sides and even those two sides are relative. there si nothing absolute in this world not even time, so why regret over things be it good and bad.

Just live life in the most beautiful way as it seems to you, without having any negative influence on your environment and take the reins of time in your hand. As, I say :

" Don't let the times test you, You test the time"

hii....

"The world says writing is the best method to express yourself, I say writing from heart as the best form of writing, As then you heart says and people listen... "

Things all around me are going in the rather same fashion for past few weeks. There has been nothing exciting event going around the place. Last weekend I had been to my home, I had a good time there. But as usual things keep on changing, nothing is constant, so am back here in my office and trying to work ;)

I usually try to update or write something here earlier when I as at home or at some palce where I had peace and thoughts came to me freely but today I just had the feeling to write something and that was going to be something written here. Its now advent of monsoons in India, and really I get sometimes fed up with all rains and the puddle it creates. There is such a lot of water logging in gurgaon, that you cant really go anywhere. Its such a mess out here. Well, well... reat nothing more to write... now that I really dont have anything to put down, so will put down something interesting later on....

till then take care

bbye

Manish

Bas chal raha hun...

Its been like ages when I last wrote something here... i like this place very much as here I am able to vent out my feeling when sometimes am not able to... Life is always a mystery for the one who lives it... and same is the case with me... anytime I prepare myself for something and my life takes a twist n turn.... There is too much to say and too less words I knw which would help me to express myself... as though I am preparing for MBA but my vocab is exploring scaling newer heights in negative axis....
Whats more to say things are in such a turmoil.. that even I dont knw where am heading to... to many things have happened in such a short notice that its difficult to think where to start and where to end.... I had not been well for past few weeks had fever and cough n cold... but since last week I had been on medication and now am fine.... last week has been a lil heavy for me i was not well... advised rest by doc and then was doing nothing means nothing at all... it was all so frustrating that you are reduced to sucha thing that u cant do anything... you cant go out of the house and hw much tv or net you can do.. it also has got its own limitations.. earlier wasnt allwoed to this.... well now its okie.. as have got well.. but still it feels alone and bad that there are no friends of yours here.. everyones working or studying at someplace or the other... things have changed quite a lot in last one year.. people have changed a lot.. those at that time had ample amount of time for you now dont even pick your call... those who njoyed partying are now drowning under work pressure... some marriages have been announced and some are waiting... many things have happened over the last one year.. even some people say that I ahve changed a lot.. but they never see how much they have changed.... I knw its wrong to blame someone entirely but still you cant always be the wrong one... but as one says life goes on and its going on....
chalo then take care...
god bless you all....
bbye....

Pictures...

Today I was sitting most of the time on net and downloaded a lot of songs... also did take some pictures from net.... so posting them only... baaki tha to bahut kuch kahne ko.. par pata nahi kuch bol nahi pa raha hoon... neway... here are the pics....

Some of the beaches....

Life and me...

I don't know why first of all I came here to write something. I know that I started of in a negative tone but can't help it... it look so bleak that am completely lost... Words are failing me, I want to express myself but am not able to... For past couple of days I have lost myself, my life's in turmoil, everything is going in the wrong direction.... I had my Nitie gdpi's but due to my health wasn't able to attend that... at my company I am without any project.... am having fights with my friends and here I am don't know what am I doing here.... I want to leave all this and be calm and peaceful but thats the thing I lack in my life.... My health is always too good for me... have got a terrible headache at this moment but still don't want to rest as though..... Feeling so alone... all so alone that sometimes I think what my life is meant for... I am not able to understand anyone nor anyone wants to understand me.... people become my friend and then when I need their friendship I am all alone... all alone to fight with myself... my own self.. that self that has got no meaning for others... and day by day its losing its meaning for me...
My life has become such a dull spot that it sucks.... all I want is some peace but thats the thing that eludes me... I feel like crying but now even tears fail me... As I myself am a big loser in many ways... people have someone when they are in need of a friend or support and here I am standing all alone.. all alone in this world... with no one when I need some help... when I need someone on whose shoulder I could keep my head and cry.... with whom I can talk my heart out but alas.. life my life has got no such luxury.... whenever it needs someone desperately everyone's busy or having his/her own problems... Am I not a human being who need someone one... or its just that am too good to get any support.... Don't know... well am still having a fantastic headache... and am not able to write anymore..... anymore.... anymore......