Revising 3 Idiots...

"Saari umrr hum mar marke ji liye
ik pal toh abb hamein jine do, jine do

give me some sunshine, give me some rain
give me another chance i wanna grow up once again"

Yesterday I had watched the movie "3 idiots" again, something in the movie always made me think is life really what we want or is it what it becomes. We all are running the rat race to score the best and leave behind the rest.
I came to this point because of an event that happened today - we were to select the subjects that we wanted in 2nd year of our course at Kozhikode. The wierd thing about the selection process is that not everyone would have the subjects of their interest, one who scored maximum grades in 1st year gets maximum points to bid. Result the rat race continues, some get the subjects of their choice while other lag behind. Another interesting phenomenon that came to light was, how easily we adopt ourselves to the money matters. We don't see that we have any specific interest in any area or not, it like the area that has got the maximum paying job, I would take that as my specialisation.
Did we ever realise what are we making of ourselves - a machine. That machine which only sees money. We don't realise that we can excel in other areas also but its the lure of greenback that attracts us like a magnet.
It was due to this incident that I realised what the movie potrayed about the system was not wrong. The pressure is intense to excel Why??? because you are the best and competing against the best brains in the country. But once I would like each one of us to ask a simple question is it worth the price we all are paying or its just the way of life??

* 3 idiots and the lyrics are copyrights of respective owners

Life Colorless...

Its been a more than 3 months of my stay in IIM K... life here is good, but still am not able to get on grasps with it... still have the feeling of being lost or left out... there are so many of things happening out here but I dont know what to do where to talk... life somtimes becomes so difficult that I am not able to breathe also... Its been a long time since I had last blogged but today to be very honest, I just wanted to pour out my frustrations and everything that was inside me and was burning me to hell... in past few months I have completely lost out myself and thats making me more and more isolated in this world... earlier life was a bit better but here I am just a lonely soul... the best part there are many people in my life and still I have no one to share my heart with.. as those who matter dont have time for me... Never knew that life could be so bad everytime I think about it.. its like that nothing could be worse than this but the more I think so.. the bigger is the surprise for me. Its like don't underestimate me I can turn from bad to ugly in jiffy...
You know I just want to pour out everything but cant do that, I dont know whats pulling me back.. but whatever it is I just dont want to be suffocated... its heart wrenching... there are so many colors of life.. but why are they far from me... well still life goes on... be it lonely or be it sad.. be it worse or be it bad.. at the end its my life... its what I have...

Searching...

"Har lamhe mein chahat hai, Har chahat mein hai khushi,
Jo mil gayi woh hai hamari, jo na mil woh thi he nahi..."

I always wonder what do I want and what do life wants from me, but whenever I sit and contemplate the issue, I am left staring at a blank wall. I dont know where to go or where I am leading myself. Its my destiny leading me or I am shaping my destiny... lots of questions remain unanswared but more questions keep coming... I dont know the answers but am desperately trying to find some... I dont know myself... I am I someone or am I None...

Can't write...

Zindagi kaisi hai paheli...

Order...

Order is what that has evaded me for quite a long time... Its the one thing that I must say is quite difficult for me to have in practical life... my whole life is inordered... my time is scattered (now now don't think too much bout how time is scattered.. ;) ), my life is scattered.. and even sometimes my hair is disordered ;)
How much you like to take life on the way you like.. and how much life listens to you depends upon your relationship with life. I may be a carefree bird but deep inside I am too much insecure... I may be living two lives in a single lifespan... I did have a ordered life.. but inside I am scattered... Its the level of truth between me and my life that makes things to be iin order or not... What lies beneath me has to be ordered.. all the physical things cease to be ordered... when mentally you are inordered... when you are in a turmoil... all the surroundings cease to exist... I may say order has evaded me for long... but for me my surroundings are pleasant and happy...

Is it too slow or is it too fast...

For quite a few days I was in the dilemma for last few weeks, so as to where my life was leading me... there was no clarity to be seen any where. I was completely lost... but now the haze looks like moving over and a picture emerging from it... though i may not be as bright as ppl say but yup.. somethings are here to stay.. I knw now what I have to do... few things can make you or break you.. .there were things that broke me.. now its the time for the making to b done....
so ppl watcha here come a new dawn.. a new day... that will mark the beginning of a new career for me... may god bless me in my endeavour....
take care ppl
bbye
urs
Manish